The Breakdown, The Long Cry and Chocolate Cake: Surviving The Mental Tornado Caused By Resistance
The Breakdown, The Long Cry and Chocolate Cake: Surviving The Mental
Tornado Caused By Resistance
By Golda Smith
Monday night I had the pleasure to eavesdrop on an interview between my business coach Sandi Krakowski and Steven Pressfield, author of the War of Art. I had just found my copy of the book sitting in a box that I hadn’t unpacked yet since I moved to NY last summer. It was sitting right on top and despite the fact that I’d already spent days looking for it, on this particular day I walked into the storage shed and found it in less than 1 minute…go figure!
Listening to that interview, I keep having one ah ha moment after the other. “Resistance plays for keeps”…so far it was winning. Yesterday I had my morning shake, took the kids to school, came home, sat in front of my laptop and prepared to write. Two hours later, I was no closer to writing my first sentence as I was to being selected as America’s Next Top Model.
It had turned into one of those days where resistance was kicking my ass. It was talking serious trash. It told me, “You have nothing to say that others haven’t said better”. I told it to shut the hell up! It said “just give up, go get a real job”. I told it to leave me alone. Then it whispered “you know you’ll just fail at this too”. Damn! It was going for the jugular. Maybe some of you A type personalities have no clue what I’m talking about and if you do you’d probably not dare admit it but it was really messing with me to the point where I was having a mini break down.
After the 4th hour I realized it was time to take my own advice. I got up and went for a run. It was raining outside, a beautiful warm rainy day. My tears mixed with the rain as I pushed my body to go further and work harder. My mind was silenced and the only thing I heard was Sandi’s voice on my i-pod, something about increasing my faith . I needed that run and the release. I didn’t write a single word that day; however, I didn’t allow resistance to seduce me into accepting its invitation to a black tie pity party for one.
Later that day, still feeling less than creative, I did the next best thing and indulged in the last piece of my birthday cake, it was delicious. It got me to thinking…I AM the only one standing in my way. I can choose to believe what that liar called Resistance says or I can choose to believe the truth. The truth is that I am designed for greatness and so are you. The truth is that it may be a daily battle but it’s one that I can win and so can you. I don’t have many days like yesterday, but I thank GOD for new beginnings.
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