5 Parenting Lessons5 Lessons I Learned from a Decade of Parenting

By Golda Smith



September and October are popular months with my children and for obvious reasons. They are the months they were born so they start getting excited right around August, lol. Some days I really have to stand back and think about the fact that I gave birth to these two beautiful young people.

It was just yesterday or at least it feels like it was just yesterday that I was looking at Zuri’s sonogram photo and now here she is almost as tall as me and eating just as much food as me! Seriously, some days I’m amazed at how much she puts away.

As she is getting ready to move into a new phase in her life, I find myself getting so emotion. These last few months I have been stretching myself beyond my comfort zone in order to allow them both to grow. One lesson I have learned is that while I can guide them, I cannot make every decision for them. I have to allow them to fail. Admit it, no one likes to fail and we certainly don’t want to sit by and watch our children fail but what kind of adults are we raising if we jump in and always try to save the day? Don’t get me wrong, if I see either one in immediate danger or headed towards something that is harmful, I will step in but if it’s a matter of a bruised ego then the ego will have to be bruised. With love and maybe a gentle hug, they will survive.

A second lesson learned in my decade plus of parenting is I cannot do everything for them. I know parents that don’t give their children any chores…NONE! They do school projects for their children. From the time my children could walk, they were helping around the home with age appropriate activities. When they were nine years old, I taught them to do their own laundry and whatever else they were ready for. Instead of doing it all for them, I guide them and sometimes do it with them.

Lesson number three, I have to give them what they earn. A few years ago, I took a class by Dave Ramsey called Financial Peace University…great experience. As a result, I build up my emergency savings account and paid off my credit cards. I was so geeked that I purchased his course for children course and my big take away was that I should be paying my children for their tasks instead of giving them an allowance, so that’s exactly what I did. When they did their assigned work, they received cash payment every week and when they did not do their work, they did not get paid. They got paid what they earned and believe me, they didn’t want to leave any money on the table.

Another lesson learned was that I had to loosen the rope. As they have gotten older I had to learn to get comfortable allowing them to do things like walk to school and back home by themselves. I remember the first time I allowed my daughter to walk home from school by herself I stood at the window anxiously waiting to see her walk around the corner and come towards the house. I got nervous when I didn’t see her when I thought I should and called her father (who lives out of state so how could he help?) to question my decision. He assured me that I was a great mother and she would be okay. Well now I have loosened the reigns a bit more and allow her to take the bus. YEAH mommy!

The biggest lesson learned is that I can rest confidently knowing that I have not figured this all out and while I am not a perfect parent, I am doing the best I can and as long as I have given them the best success tools, encourage open conversation, and create a safe space for them to do the same with me, we will get through this stage and the next and the next.

Wow! Although I think I always wanted to be a mother, I didn’t know that it would actually happen and while it didn’t turn out the way I dreamed…you know, happily married with the dream home, lots of money in the bank and then raise a home full of children, I am extremely grateful and blessed. While these are some of the five lessons I’ve learned from my decade of parenting, there are many more. It is my hope that you the reader know that this is a never ending journey and you don’t have to figure it all out, you just need to be present for the journey.

Do you have older children, younger children? What have you learned during this season of life. Please share in the comments because we are all here to grow.

Here’s to the next decade!








5 Tips to a Speedy Recovery After Race Day

5 Tips to a Speedy Recovery After Race Day By Golda Smith   This past weekend I accomplished a goal I set a little more than 16 weeks ago. My goal was to train for and complete a half marathon in under two hours. Sounds simple enough and although I had been running for a […]

Read the full article →

Adaptogen Herbs to Increase Energy and Athletic Performance

Adaptogen Herbs to Increase Energy and Athletic Performance By Golda Smith   If you are a busy mom like I am then this article is for YOU. If you are a busy mom and athlete, working from home or working outside of the home then this article is for YOU. We’re talking about natural ways […]

Read the full article →

Wild Berry Drop Scones

Wild Berry Drop Scones By Golda Smith   Let me start by saying I cannot take credit for this recipe. I was scrolling through Instagram and you know how it goes. You see a photo that grabs your attention and then a hashtag which of course you click on and it opens up an entire […]

Read the full article →

Cheaters NEVER Win…What Your Food Journal Reveals

Cheaters NEVER Win…What Your Food Journal Reveals By Golda Smith   I’m about to blow up someone’s spot, step on some toes and maybe cause some of you to cry. I’ve spoken a number of times about the importance of exercise and meal planning and even accountability. When I decided that I was ready to […]

Read the full article →

LOVE > fear

Hi, pardon the weekend interruption- I just wanted to reach out and see how you are doing. If you’ve been watching the news or the trending hashtags on Twitter then you know there has been a lot of violence and senseless deaths happening these past few days. I’ve been very quiet about it because personally, […]

Read the full article →

8 Reasons Why You Aren’t Getting the Results You Pray For

8 Reasons Why You Aren’t Getting the Results You Pray For By Golda Smith   Are you part of the #IveDoneEverything Club? You know those people that “try” every diet program, every workout, go to ever workshop yet still haven’t seen their waistlines shrink…at least not for a significant length of time. It’s all right […]

Read the full article →

5 Reasons Why Bodyweight Training ROCKS!

5 Reasons Why Bodyweight Training ROCKS! By Golda Smith   Longer days and warmer weather are just two reasons to takes your workouts outdoors. Fitness doesn’t have to be boring, complicated or mysterious! Remember back in January when you made a commitment to start working out. You may have even purchased a gym membership and […]

Read the full article →

3 Tips to Help Spring Clean Your Kitchen

3 Tips to Help Spring Cleanse Your Kitchen By Golda Smith   We are well into spring and in a few weeks Memorial Day will be here which is the unofficial start of the summer season. With that comes backyard cook outs, afternoons at the beach, long walks with the children as you enjoy ice […]

Read the full article →