Table For One Please

by Golda


Table For One Please
By Golda Smith
For the past four weeks I’ve been re-learning what it’s like to be alone. Not only am I a single mom but I’m a single mom without children…go figure! With the kids gone and enjoying themselves, I’ve had the good fortune of sleeping in, not preparing breakfast, lunch, snacks and sometimes dinner. I can actually count on my ten fingers the number of times that I cooked dinner.

After a few days in the house I was gently reminded that I should get out, go somewhere. Anywhere! I actually had to think, what should I do? If this were 2002 B.C. (before children) it would be rather easy. I’d probably have a pedicure and lunch with friends, something I hadn’t done in I don’t know how long.

It seems that I turned into one of those women that I never dreamed of. You know the ones who forget to do those little things that make them feel sexy. As a single mommy it’s very easy to fall into that role, I mean everything is for our children right? So when I finally snapped out of my coma, I registered for the first belly dance class that I could and it was awesome. Note to self: Keep this on my list of things just for ME.
My next treat? A pedicure! Summer time means the toes are on display. Could I have done this myself? Absolutely, however, there’s something deeply satisfying about having someone else rub, scrub and massage my feet. It’s amazing how something as simple as that could put such a smile on my face.

When was the last time you, yes YOU made time to do something just for your pleasure?  
Often times the needs of others take precedence over our own happiness. Sadly, this becomes the norm for far too many moms. It’s not healthy and you have total control over it, even if you’re a single mom. Especially if you’re a single mom. You, we need to recharge and that means making the time. Even if you have to say “No” to someone else.

One thing that I know I haven’t done in years is have meal by myself. When I was in college I used to take myself to dinner at least once a month. I never understood why women in particular felt uncomfortable putting on really cute clothes and have a meal by themselves. As I mentioned earlier, I can count the times that I’ve cooked since the kids have been gone. Tonight was one of those nights and I took pleasure in preparing that meal all for me, it was tofu and broccoli in a fig white wine sauce…delicious. The glass of wine kicked it up a notch, yeah baby!   

My little vacation is coming to an end, so no more weekend getaways. Not for a while anyway. What these last few weeks have revealed to me is that as much as I adore my children, and I do, I miss those things that I used to do just for me and now that I’ve gotten a taste I want more. My calendar is out and I’ve scheduled future dance classes and date night. Who am I dating? Me! It may sound silly but if married people can have a date night then why not this single mom?

I am accepting applications but until I find that person who I want to be with, I’m perfectly content with just me.

Side note: Please don’t be one of these pathetic people that say “I’m so glad that I found someone to complete me”. Every time I hear someone say those words I want to do my best to throw up on them. I mean really! Come on, do these people actually believe that another human being will complete them? No one completes you, not your mate, not your pet and not your child.  

Now I realize that some mom’s especially single moms feel they just can’t find time to do these things for themselves and may even feel guilty. They may not have supportive family or friends. However, I want to encourage you to not allow your present to dictate your future and you absolutely deserve to be able to say “table for one please”.

So what will you do for yourself this week? No kids attached. Let me know in your comments.


Golda_Black_Dress-small.png Golda Smith is a nutritional cleansing coach and is focused on helping moms achieve their weight loss goals. She has a FREE report entitled “The Biggest Mistake People Make During Weight Loss”. Don’t let this be YOU, get this NOW!



{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Brandon July 28, 2011 at 3:34 pm

This is an excellent article. I am neither a mom or a parent but there is so much great content in this article that is applicable to my life. I love the direction that you blog is going in and It is definitely a place that I will stay tuned in to for advice on staying fit in all aspects of my life!
Keep up the great work and content!
Peace and Prosperity,
Brandon N.


2 Golda July 28, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Thank you Brandon! I appreciate your comment very much. Stay blessed 🙂


3 Lori Thayer July 28, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Congrats on getting out to pamper yourself a bit while the kids are away. That time of renewal is really important.


4 Golda July 29, 2011 at 6:51 pm

This is the only life I have to live so by golly I’m going to enjoy it! Thanks for commenting Lori.


5 Rolanda July 28, 2011 at 7:26 pm

I Love It!  I tip my hat to all single moms.  Although I am not a single mom I apply this to my own personal life.  I have learned the art of saying no and it is so freeing.  I schedule regular dates with myself and I absolutely love it!  I often tell my friends that I am going out with my best friend…which is me.  I remind myself that I  was Rolanda first before I was mom and wife.  Thanks Golda!


6 Golda July 29, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Hey Ro. I love your comment and more mom’s single, married or somewhere in between need to declare exactly as you said…“I was (say your name) first before I was mom and wife. Amen!


7 pat July 29, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Hi Golda.  Your post is so right on.  I have been married for 40 years and I am a Grandmother now.  I can tend to be a 'do it yourselfer' so often don't let others help me.  So it is easy to be a workaholic.   I am learning that it is important to have times for refreshment for just ME, so that I can be in a better mental state to serve my family the way I want to.


8 Golda July 29, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Hi Pat. I give you a round of applause for 40 years of marriage, that’s awesome. I hope to join the club soon. I’m glad that you recognize the importance of “ME” time to refresh, it’s so important. Have a fabulous day.


9 Jandi Theis July 30, 2011 at 2:10 am

I love this article! I'm married but a single mom most of the time because my husband works away from home. I think all of the things you mention here can pertain to so many of us, whether single moms or not… even those who have a husband at home everyday still need their alone time. I love doing things with my daughter, but miss my "me time" & you reminded me that I haven't had any in a very long time. And I've never had a pedicure… may be time to do that! 🙂  Good for you for enjoying your time while your children have been away & without feeling guilty about it!


10 Golda July 30, 2011 at 2:57 am

What?! Jandi, you must go get a pedicure within the next week and let me know how you enjoyed it 🙂


11 Hallie July 30, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Great article Golda! So true- we need to be comfortable with who we are- and do more fun things by ourselves.  Very motivating:)


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